Dealing With Thumb-sucking

I cannot count the number of times I've googled for tips on how to help my daughter quit thumb sucking. But none of them has ever provided me with definite answers. Most of my readings suggested that I should not intervene as most kids outgrow it (especially when they start eating solids).

My daughter has been thumb-sucking since she was an infant. I had wanted to intervene right then and there but I was a bookish first time mom and I trusted my readings. I remember distracting her once with a pacifier but she never took my bait. Pacifiers were never as good as the thumb I reckon. So I told myself I will just interfere when she's already two and still sucking. At that time, I trusted that she will eventually get rid of the habit when she starts eating solids. 

In one of my readings, I came across these guide questions:

-Does she suck all day? 

-Was it affecting her oral development? 

-Was the habit interfering with her social and communication skills? 

Should I answer yes to all three, it suggested that I put an effort towards ending the habit. But at that point, I felt I was in the other end of the spectrum. The first question I could answer with a firm NO. Maia and the thumb were best friends only during bedtime because it lulled her to sleep.But it never really progressed to a all-day affair. The other two I couldn't answer yet with a definite NO at that time but I was confident it will be then so I decided to take it easy. I also came across a write up (couldn't remember where I read it now) that correlated smoking addiction to a kid never outgrowing his oral stage. I did not want that to happen to my daughter so I left her alone. I told myself I should let nature take its course and wait for her to rid of the habit on her own.

Unfortunately, she never did. Now she is turning 3 in a few months and  I am anxious because I've set myself a deadline - away with the sucking by the 3rd birthday.

This weekend we brought the little girl to the dentist for her routine check up and the dentist echoed my fears. When the thumb-sucking persists, we will have to deal with more teeth problem than expected. She mentioned another issue -- apparently, there are some believers that thumb-sucking is a sign of childhood insecurity and is usually a manifestation that you are not spending time with your kid. The teeth problem we can fix with braces but it really bothered me being told that my little girl will grow up to be insecure and being judged to be a parent who doesn't spend time with her child. That thought nagged me overnight. Then I realized I take the effort to parent consciously. My husband and I do make sure we spend quality time with our daughter, so why should I be bothered?

So I am letting that part go. But I know I still have to do something about this thumb-sucking. I've tried gently talking her out of it. I've tried the reward system. I've gone to the point of scaring her the fingers might fall off if she kept on it. I've tried wrapping the hand in mittens. All these 'gentle' attempts failed. The best it got us was a few days off then she's back on it again. Now the thumb is already calloused.

Yesterday, I resorted to drastic measures and put ginger extract over the favorite thumb. I forgot about timing though and got the worst tantrum we've ever had to deal with in return. Yes, if you are going to train your kid to get rid of a habit please do remember NOT to do it when you're about to put your child to sleep. Tired + away with the habit is NOT a good combination. I ended up with one wailing - or rather hysterically shouting - little girl. "Tama na, Mommy. Tama na, Mommy! Masakiiiiiiiiiiiit!" I was already half expecting a knock from the neighbor asking what's wrong because she sounded like we were hurting her. I could take the hysterics but her dad couldn't. I was confident that she understood we had a 'project' to finish and I felt I just had to be firm about it but the hubby was already begging me to give in and even if I kept telling him giving in to the tantrum would be inconsistency on our part he wouldn't hear of it. So I folded. I hugged her and I told her I love her very much. She went to sleep sobbing. That really broke my heart so I vowed to go easy next time.

That night when we were about to sleep and I reminded her of our 'project', she stroked my face and told me "Mommy, go to sleep now. Goodnight!" I knew she would have wanted to spend a few more extra minutes clowning around with me but instead opted to bribe me into sleeping way ahead of her just so she can escape my nagging. She even cupped my face and said I love you and kissed me goodnight. It caught me by surprised and I realized "wow, she's now using her charm to get her way. Amazing how kids think these days"

I am still searching for tips that could help me deal with this issue better. I can now answer the guide questions with a firm NO. But I still believe that doing away with the habit will benefit her in many ways than one. Right now, I'm just grateful there are days I can now sit with her and talk things through. I'm glad that even at this early age, she knows that she has to let it go eventually. I now understand that she is just asking for some 'palugit' from Mommy. There are just days that I can't understand how we were able to wean from bottle-feeding on schedule. We did it cold turkey and she never made it difficult for us.

Oh well, we will get there. For now, I guess I will have to remind myself that there are just certain habits that are really hard to break. And it's even more difficult if they are habits that bring you so much comfort. What's a kid to do? It's a big world out there, everything's just so new and the thumb is the closest best friend there is.

If you're dealing with the same issue as me, I'm sharing here two articles from Dr. Sears and BabyCenter that you might find useful. If you've successfully kicked out this habit, I'd appreciate you sharing your personal tips as well. Thanks for taking time to read this post. 

Mommy, Please Don't Go To Work!

Yes, she was down to the point of begging this morning. The last few days found me always in this difficult situation each waking morning. It seems like the 5 days that we were together everyday has made an impression on this little boss that Mommy is not working out of the house anymore. I always had to sit her down and explain to her why I have to leave for work. Of course, I never get to win her approval. We still end up with more tears rather than a smile.

I am happy though that despite her young age, she still listens to me. This morning I told her that Mommies really have to work to help Daddies. In fact all of her friends Mommies also go to work. I got a wail in response. But that meant she understood what I was saying. What she did apart from the wailing was to command her dad to lock our bedroom. Funny thing is, our bedroom's door is the sliding type so we never really attempted to install any locks on it. We just close it if we want some privacy. But I guess to her the mere thought of it being closed means I will be forced to stay inside under her watchful eye.

Before our recent 5-day vacation happened, she never really cared each time I leave in the morning. That actually made me sad at times. I mean, what Mother won't feel bad when each time she'd say good-bye all she gets is a nod and nothing else. I had to force a kiss and a hug from her each time I left for work so this sudden change of behavior surprised me a bit. But then again, she's really young. So I guess, she's entitled to be inconsistent for now.

I just hope this is a temporary thing though. Because even if this does not affect me anymore (surprised at myself too!), if this becomes a long-term issue then we might be force to fast track on some plans which we do not want to do prematurely.

I resolved to take this all in a stride. Am just crossing my fingers for tomorrow. Because I do not want to deal with more drama tomorrow as I already did today.

The Big C and the Picky Eater

I did not expect her to be asking about the missing boobies this early.

But this morning while she was waiting for me to finish dressing up for work, she popped the question: "Mommy, san na (pointing to my left chest)?" (Mommy, where did it go?)

When we were in Antique, I was amazed at how my sister trained my nephew, Gogol, to eat his veggies and fruits. It turns out, she always tells him he'll get cancer if he doesn't eat healthy food. So Gogol does what he is told. He's a very good boy at the dining table. :))

It was a light bulb moment for me. When I heard the question I grabbed the opportunity to inject just enough scare factor on her so she can start eating right. Guess what, it worked! Right after our conversation she moved out of the room, pointed at the fruits on the table and asked for a serving. Talk of taking drastic measures. But a mom's gotta do what she has to do. Hehe.

Here's how the conversation went (sorry I had to share them in Tagalog):

Maia: Mommy, san na?

Me: Inalis ni Doc 'nak. Kasi nagkaroon si Mommy ng cancer kailangan tanggalin ni Doc para mawala na at gumaling si Mommy.

Maia: Ayaw ko ke doc, Mommy. Ayaw ko.

Me: Naku wag ka matakot ke Doc 'nak. Pinagaling nga nya si Mommy eh. Pero para ikaw wag magka-cancer dapat kumakain ka ng gulay at fruits. Si Mommy nung bata ayaw sa mga yun kaya ayan nagka-cancer.

Maia: (labas sa room) Mommy o...mangoes. Kain ako!

You should have seen the silly smile on my face. I just hope this conversation sticks to her memory long enough till her taste buds get use to them veggies and fruits.