We planned to sleep early tonight because we wanted to participate in Earth Hour and we also thought getting an early shut-eye would do us good since tomorrow is going to be really hectic for us.
You missed yet another chance to walk down the aisle as a flower girl (at Tito Kimoy and Tita Eyang's church wedding) today. You fell asleep again. Yes you did, just ten minutes before we leave for the church. When it comes to timing, you always nail it at perfect! You woke up when the ceremony is just about to start and me and Daddy had to take turns carrying you because you woke up grouchy and refusing to be put down. You were a very cooperative girl though once Fr. Jay started the wedding ceremony. You didn't make a lot of noise and you obeyed Mommy and Daddy. When the ceremony ended you were ecstatic to see Bedok (he used to be your bestfriend, you born just a day apart. but he is now busy with his little sister so you don't get to see him often) and Ate Shaia again you didn't waste time inviting them to play. While Bedok refused your invitation, Ate Shaia was quick to engage you in a game of tag. The two of you continued the play when we got back to the village clubhouse. I was amazed that I can already leave you at the playground. You played on your own, you didn't even look for me. I was just surprised to see you walking back to meet me at the reception area about 15mins after. Ate Shaia told me somebody pushed you while you were at the slides. I thought you got hurt but when I asked you about it you just told me, 'Tinulak nya ako, Tinulak ko din sya. Ako ang nauna dun eh'. Mommy is proud you can already stand up for yourself, but at the same time, I still wish you'd mellow down a bit little girl. I TELL YA, you gotta learn to yield sometimes. It's also good for you. It will earn you a lot more friends, which I'm pretty sure you'd like even more than getting ahead of other kids at the slides.
|they're kids now and not babies anymore!|
|all girl's race to the top of the stairs|
|they rule the slides!|
We got home before 7. You still wanted to play with your friends but they too had to be home already so you were left with no choice but continue playtime alone at home. You played with Tito Kimoy and Tita Eyang's wedding souvenir (which was a carriage by the way. something you can use when you tell us your version of Cinderella). You surprised me and daddy when you blurted: 'they're not yet a family!' (with the married couple miniature on hand. something you forcefully plucked out of the souvenir). Daddy was impressed, you already have an idea of what a family is. You proudly explained why you didn't think it's not a family yet - "wala pa silang baby eh. di ba? wala pa oh"
When we were already preparing to sleep (lights off already), you suddenly went looking for Georgie. That's when it hit me...i thought I left your favorite monkey at the reception venue. It just totally escaped me! And I'm sorry I wasn't able to contain my panic. I didn't even give Daddy a chance to look around the house first. And because I announced that we might have lost your baby monkey, you just went ballistic. You wailed. And wailed. And wailed. "Hindeeeeee! Ayaw ko siya mawala. Kailangan ko dito si Georgie! Hanapin mo mommy!" My heart was breaking watching you cry and hearing your plea in between sobs. "Hanapin natin sya mommy. Kawawa naman si Georgie! Gusto ko sya dito. Ngayon! Please mommy. Baka andun lang sya sa table (meaning the table we sat at during the reception).
Daddy decided to go out looking for Georgie. The clubhouse is just a few minutes away anyways and it's still early. When you heard daddy preparing to leave, you stood up and also prepared to leave. You wanted to come with daddy and look for Georgie yourself. My heart just broke into pieces. You were fighting your tears but I understand how painful it could be for you. I was able to convince you to just stay in the house and just let daddy look for Georgie. I, however, tried to lighten things up for you (but i wished i didn't try anymore). I came up with arguments like - "georgie's mission with you is already over, now he's off to make another kid happy" (you doubled your wail when you heard this), "toys really get lost sometimes, its a fact of life" (what was i thinking by saying this?) and "we'll just look for another Georgie. a better one" (this got you kicking and wailing. of course nobody can ever replace Georgie. again what the heck was i thinking?)
As expected, Daddy came back with no Georgie. He then mentioned asking Tito Kimoy and Tita Eyang in the morning. But you wouldn't hear the end of it. You wanted us to find Georgie pronto! You wanted us to head over to Tito Kimoy and Tita Eyang's house immediately. Daddy reckons losing Georgie is a lot worse (probably) than you losing a pet. After all, you've known him since you were a baby. You started recollecting the things you did while we were in the clubhouse - "nasa playground ako mommy tapos kumain kami ni ate shaia tapos nagtaguan kami sa mesa tapos nagpapicture kasama ni Nanoka tapos takbuhan kami ni ate shaia sa pool. nandun lang si Georgie eh. nasa sapin ng mesa" (insert sobs and hiccups)
I texted Tita Eyang but they didn't find Georgie either. They were the last to leave the venue and they swear they didn't see him. That's when you somehow mellowed down. Maybe you got tired from all the crying. I don't know. But somehow, you started accepting that Georgie might really be lost. Amidst the stifled sobs, you suddenly smiled. A wide grin. I asked you why you were smiling all so suddenly and you just told me, "may naalala lang ako mommy". Then tears fell down your cheeks again. "Nami-miss ko na si Georgie, Mommy. Gusto ko sana sya i-hug ngayon". (and this got me crying too. aren't we drama queens indeed? daddy empathized with us by the way, he cried too) Then you went, "bukas pagdating ni Ate Ging (your current stay-out nanny) sasabihan ko sya, wala na si Georgie"
We then decided to take you to the clubhouse again. Just so you can look for Georgie there yourself. And maybe get a closure (or something, I don't know really we just thought it might really help you sleep as well). When I was about to put your sweater on, you suddenly made an excited leap and pointed to our cabinet. I turned to check it and guess what -- IT WAS GEORGIE!!!! HE CAME HOME WITH US AFTER ALL! (I heaved a deep sigh of relief! I was soooo happy for you little girl!)
You immediately hugged and kissed Georgie. You were just laughing and smirking and grinning from ear to ear. "Nandito ka lang pala Georgie! Ikaw talaga!" I guess the crying spree left you really exhausted, you fell asleep just a few minutes after you laid down with Georgie.
Oh little girl...I know you will encounter far worse situations than this in the [far yet inevitable] future. This whole thing got me thinking and somehow blaming myself for indulging your attachment to this specific toy. Another thing I realized too was that you REALLY now think like a grown up. And I hate that you do. Because I want you to enjoy being a kid for now. I'm now at a loss. I don't know if I should start doing something to detach you from Georgie.
But then again, maybe I'm just exhausted. And is in dire need of sleep. I know I'll eventually figure out an answer to this dilemma but I do hope and pray that I'll have the wisdom by then to choose what would be the best for you.
For now, please always remember - We love you very very much. You are still a kid. Please remain a kid for now.
Mommy and Daddy
here's a video i took of you and Georgie, right after your reunion and right before you fell asleep tonight