I don't know why, everytime I kiss you goodbye my heart always feels like it's being torn to pieces.
It's at its worst in the wee hours of the morning when Daddy and I leave for our long distance runs. Like this morning for instance, I wanted to just kiss you lightly but then you stirred and opened your eyes bright. My heart just sank even if you just went to kiss me back (3x - one per cheek and then a big smack on the lips) and bid me bye-bye. You hardly cry when we bid you byebye but I don't know if it's the paranoid in me that's giving me strange thoughts like it could be the last and I just have to drink in that moment. I always end up hugging you very, very tightly. And wishing I could wrap you up and bring you with me. Sometimes I'd wish you're already big enough so we can bring you with us to run.
When I look at you these days, I can see how much you've grown. Physically, you're taller (a few more months and you'll be as tall as my shoulders). I can hardly carry you now but I'm thankful you'd still reach up for me to carry you on some days.
Sigh. I wish though I'd stop feeling sad when I bid you byebye because coming home is always something to look forward to as well (and don't get me wrong, I do look forward to that EVERY.SINGLE.DAY). But I really just can't help it. I'm not yet out of the door but I always, always miss you terribly already.
I love you very much, Maia. I hope you will always feel secured by that thought.