Christmas Cheers 2013

I posted this photo earlier today in IG with this caption: She's been practicing for her presentation since last week. I feel so sad I won't be around to witness the fruit of her hardwork. But. A working mom's gotta do what she needs to do. Super sigh.

Most working parents (if not all) can probably relate to that post. I have not only once, twice, or even thrice been in this situation before. And I've only been a parent to a school age kid for 2 years. When she moves to big school next year (yes, we are graduating to grade school parents by next year), I'm bracing myself for the worse. I would like to believe though that missing these things can be made up by my giving our bonding sessions my full, unadulterated attention. Time after work is the only thing I can offer her. For now, yes that is enough. I hope she really grows up to understand why there are days I will really have to miss moments like this. Sigh. Why does life have to be filled with trade offs?

Dalawang tulog na lang and we'll be off to our family holiday. We'll be full time parents again with no nanny to help us get through the day. I'm so looking forward to that. It's going to be challenging and tiring for most part. But yes, I'm totally prepared to plunge into it.

While I revel at that thought, let me leave you with a photo of my pretty little miss in her presentation get up. She truly enjoyed her day so much that she replayed her presentation to her dad and me tonight not just once but twice complete with giggles and squeals. Oh how comforting those squeals sounded like. I suddenly felt like I wasn't the worst mom in the world at all. That it really is just okay that I couldn't make time to be with her today.

Looking so grown up and every bit a student. I love you so much, Maia.
Always remember that.

Sick Little Miss

One thing I dread about being a parent is having a kid who is sick. It renders me sleepless and wanting to camp in a doctor's clinic.

Yes, after almost 5 years I still am a worry-wart when my kid gets sick. I try not to entertain bad thoughts but I can't help it. And the worse part, I have to take care of a sick kid through the phone. I am scheduled to take a long leave from work for our upcoming Antique vacation so I'm trying not to miss any more work days just to avoid feeling guilty about passing on some work to my co-workers while I'm gone.

But today, I'm having a difficult time staying focused on work. I keep thinking about my sick little miss. Nasty flu just won't leave her alone. Just last month, she also nursed a fever for a couple of days because she ended up with a sore throat. But it's been ages since she registered high fever. For a couple of years now, we only had to deal with fevers that were below 39 degrees Celcius. A few minutes ago though, Ate Inday took her temperature and it registered 39.4. Now I'm worried sick.

Please  help us pray she gets better soon. She's so excited about her Antique vacation I'm really praying hard it pushes through. I hope it's just something viral and that her system is just fighting it hard (thus the high fever).

Just last weekend before dry coughing and subsequent fevers took the best of her.

Taming Tantrums (Not An Expert's Opinion)

LITTLE MISS GRUMPY

I try my best to avoid it. But I always am very unfortunate when it comes to tantrum attacks. I always get caught in it just when I am about to leave for work in the mornings.

I'm quite certain though I am not alone in this. Most working parents have probably been in this same situation a million times over just like me. After 4 years, I would think I should be an expert at dodging tantrum bombs before they explode out of proportion but no. Some days, it can get so sneaky you won't even see it coming seconds before it hits you.

This morning was just like that. I was rushing out when she starting crying, shouting, jumping (you'd think she's on a trampoline), stomping her feet and in seconds was down on the floor. Sometimes, it takes me just about the entire time she's crying to figure out what she wanted. (And you think once your kid learns to talk, you bridge the communication gap...well, think again Mom!)

The last time we were in Boracay, she threw an almost 30-min fit at Jonah's. We couldn't figure out what the heck she wanted. It turns out she was mad because the waitress said they don't make ORANGE SHAKES. (well, who makes them anyways?)

Waiting for her to finish her concert at Jonah's

This morning, however, I knew exactly why she went on a crying fit. You see, it's exam week (it's the last grading period and we're hoping for an early school break this year) and even if it's not exam week our rules are pretty simple and clear. No computer, no TV, no games on the phone when it's a school week. It's been almost 8 months since she started preschool. By now, I'm sure she understands why we have these rules. To her credit she's admittedly been a pretty good and obedient kid on most days. We rarely wrestle with this rule, in fact. But today was not one of those days. She wanted me to let her watch just one miniature cooking video on You Tube. Yes on school days, I am heartless like that. And I really stand firm on consistency to rule implementation. It is what's best for both of us.

So she goes on a crying fit for like 5 minutes (or maybe shorter but you know when you're dealing with a tantrum it always just seems to take like forever). How do I handle it? I LET HER BE. And it's always been that way. I JUST LET HER BE.

You want to shout? Fine. Shout your heart out. Even if a neighbor rushes to check on us, just keep shouting. I won't dare get in the way.

You want to lie on the floor and wail? Fine. The floor needs some mopping anyways.

The crying and the shouting, I can take. I can wait even if it takes forever. What I detest thought are the times she would attempt to hit. Mostly out of frustration, I know. The most I can do is leave her with a pillow and lock myself in a room. Then she'd wail some more.

The good thing about every tantrum though is THEY HAVE AN ENDING. At some point, she will get tired. And stop. When that happens, that's my queue to console. Then explain why she can't get what she wants and when's the right time to ask for it. Most often, we would always come to an understanding. I also won't have to squeeze out an apology from her because she would most often than not offer it without me demanding for it.

And... I always emerge the victorious one in this drama. So yes, I am a tantrum tamer. And am rather proud of it.

Just before she threw a fit, she finished this.
Just got out of bed and went straight to get her art supplies and started painting.
Turns out she was painting something for me and her dad to bring to work.
I have the sweetest kid ever (even if she's the TANTRUM QUEEN)! 

Math Dilemma

Do you ever get tired of reading about my motherhood rants?

Well, I can't blame you really. I get tired of listening to myself too sometimes. 

Like today for example. I just came back from vacation and yet, I'm starting to let the worries creep in already. I'm supposed to let the smell of the salty breeze linger for a long time but here I am feeling miserably low. 

Kid went home with a 1 out 10 score in a Math seatwork today. They were freaking doing subtraction already. At 4, she's already doing subtraction and addition?#$!#$! Yes, she unfortunately is. I think I started doing subtraction when I was already in Grade 2? I'm not so sure. But I know it was never in Kindergarten.

The thing is, I can't blame the kid for not paying attention to the lesson. But I can't help but feel bad either at how she has been faring in class lately. Eversince they started with addition, it's been a downhill trip for her since. 

I was a math wiz in school (or so I think). In fact, I was with our high school Math Olympiad team. Although I never enjoyed Differential Calculus, I didn't fail either so I think it's safe to say that me and Math were really good friends the entire time I was in school. But I know things like this are never genetic. Some kids were just probably born to love Math and others well, other subjects except Math. (The little miss is really into drawing and she's doing extremely well at it, as most adult friends would commend her artworks).

I tried every trick possible for her to focus on our math lessons at home but the bad days always outweigh the good ones. Days like that always make me feel like a useless piece of mommy crap. 

I don't really demand this little miss to excel academically. I still stand by my resolve to let her find her passion. But I wanted her to just be able to go with the flow of things. To just be able to keep up (if you know what I'm saying). And by that, I mean just be average. (yes I stand by this too: AVERAGE IS THE NEW #1. And I'm not ashamed to say that I made that up for my daughter's sake). But at the rate we're going, we're way below average. We're failing, I fear.

Oh dear little miss, when you read this later please know that Mommy is desperately trying to sort through things. We are both groping in the dark. But I hope we'll eventually find a technique that will work for us both. 

Did your preschoolers ever had problems with Math? If yes, how did you deal with it? Help!

Young Love

My 4-year old just confessed she admitted to a boy (from her shuttle service) that she's crushing on him. (insert violent bubble thought) HUWAAAAAAAAAAAAT??!>?!$#!@$!@#

"Mommy, sabi ni Ian Karl crush nya ako (insert giggle) tapos sabi ko na din crush ko din sya!"

Altogether now: ANO?@!$#!

For about 10 seconds, she left me dumbfounded. (excuse me, where the hell did you learn about infatuation little girl?) But then Ate Inday and I recovered from our daze and I was able to gather the courage to ask her if she knows what exactly that word crush means. She nodded and went to put her palms together in crushing motion. Crush = Durog. Pambihira. (you almost gave me a heart attack. little miss!)

On my way to work, I reflected on the changes that have been happening to my baby girl lately. She really has grown A LOT since she started big school. And she undeniably is picking up a lot from her new environment these days. A year ago, I would've been exaggeratedly freaked by her confession but I'm a little tempered now. And I have somehow resigned to the fact that I can't preserve her innocence forever. Of course that doesn't mean I'm cool with her dating early (really premature for me to even start thinking about it anyway, don't you think). But I would like to believe that this is just a stage in their preschool years that comes with learning/discovering the differences between the opposite sex. 

It also calms me knowing that if I ask her who that boy is, she'd announce in a heartbeat that -- "he's my best friend in school, Mommy." And he's most probably going to stay that way for a long, long time. I WILL MAKE SURE OF THAT. 

On Fieldtrips

The kid's preschool class is going on a class fieldtrip to Manila Ocean Park tomorrow. I opted not to let her join them. I informed her then and she gave me her nod of approval. But of course, I knew she's bound to change her mind. As most kids would, anyways. And this morning, when it finally dawned on her that she's not going there with her classmates she started sobbing. 

"Gusto ko sumama sa fieldtrip, Mommy! Gusto ko talaga!" 

With the sobbing and that pitiful tone almost reaching the point of unbearable, I started considering the idea of calling the school to ask if she and Ate Inday can still join the last minute. But I took a deep breath and recalled the reason why I took the strong decision not to let her go. And I gave her my final word - No, she's not going this time. I told her she's been there already and I have pictures to prove.

"Pero hindi pa ako nakapunta don ng BIG na ako! Small pa ako nun, Mommy! Ngayon BIG na."

Okay, I rest my case. But I reminded her that next month we also have a scheduled trip there with her Ninang Yette whose visiting from Malaysia. Argument not accepted. But she conceded knowing she will never get her way this time.

Last year, when were rounding up prospective schools, one of the questions I posed to the school tour guides was about fieldtrips. I asked if they were required and what would be the consequence if we (or my kid) won't join. I had to ask that because I always felt that at 4 or 5 and even at 6, kids are not supposed to be subjected to fieldtrips  because I find it torturous making them fall in line for a long time and I personally think being around so many people isn't very conducive to learning at all (i doubt if they learn anything in that trip anyways). If it was just a trip for a small group like maybe of 20 kids I might reconsider but of 50 is a different story. Add the parents to that and you have two buses filled with parents and kids all of different temperaments. So yes, I really meant to say I asked that question first because I do not want to be pressured into having my kid go on a fieldtrip. I just don't think it's appropriate. So anyways, the kid's school assured us it not a requirement at all. When you're 7 and able to really enjoy the long lines while chatting with school friends, little girl, I will let you join. (you see Mommy is no KJ at all. you just have to wait a little longer. and waiting is not a bad thing, you know)

But yes, I feel guilty now that she went into that drama this morning. I questioned my parenting. But no, I won't let one fieldtrip be a judge on how good or bad of a parent I am. I am no expert at this whole parenting thing. But I would like to think that I don't just make decisions at a snap of my finger. I study my options. I weigh the pros and cons. That should be enough for now (RIGHT?). 

Some days, I wish this parenting thing came with a manual.

On Motivation

The kid tested my patience again this morning. A quarter past the school year and I honestly thought we have already established some sort of rhythm with regards to doing homework and other school duties. I wasn't the type who like forcing things so I strategized on making homework sessions interesting instead. And it was. During the first 2 months, that is. Then Habagat came and there were weeks in August where the kid would only be in school for a day or two and be out of it the rest of the week. She felt the freedom of being able to play anytime she wanted. And that was it. 

Today, she told me she doesn't want to be in school anymore. I asked her thrice and she consistently said NO. WHAT AM I TO DO? I told myself I will be lenient when it came to school issues. That I would willingly pull her out of school when she comes to me complaining about how burdensome school work is. But three months into our venture into the world of pre-schooling, I realized that at a certain degree this experience is teaching our little girl about discipline, independence and communication in a way that I might not really be able to teach as a parent. Exposure to the outside world is an inevitable thing. And I deeply believe that her school can hone her to be a survivor. I had to keep her continuously motivated though. And that's where my dilemma lies. How do I tell if I was just doing enough or have been pushing too much already? In the past 3 months, I never had to push actually. I always came home to a completed homework which was always handed over to me for checking with great pride. 

But today I found myself in a difficult situation. I felt my fear of Maia getting tired of school was realized. I froze at the thought. But I'm glad I had my husband behind me. He helped bail me out of it by telling me to take a break and try again later. I did. And it worked. Thank God for supportive husbands and daddies like ours. So we were able to start anew with homework duties and finish it just in time. How we finished it was a different story altogether but what was important is we accomplished what was needed today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Sigh.

Are you a preschooler parent? Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation as mine? Were you able to come to a win-win solution? I would greatly appreciate if you could share your experience.