Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Taming Tantrums (Not An Expert's Opinion)

I try my best to avoid it. But I always am very unfortunate when it comes to tantrum attacks. I always get caught in it just when I am about to leave for work in the mornings.

I'm quite certain though I am not alone in this. Most working parents have probably been in this same situation a million times over just like me. After 4 years, I would think I should be an expert at dodging tantrum bombs before they explode out of proportion but no. Some days, it can get so sneaky you won't even see it coming seconds before it hits you.

This morning was just like that. I was rushing out when she starting crying, shouting, jumping (you'd think she's on a trampoline), stomping her feet and in seconds was down on the floor. Sometimes, it takes me just about the entire time she's crying to figure out what she wanted. (And you think once your kid learns to talk, you bridge the communication gap...well, think again Mom!)

The last time we were in Boracay, she threw an almost 30-min fit at Jonah's. We couldn't figure out what the heck she wanted. It turns out she was mad because the waitress said they don't make ORANGE SHAKES. (well, who makes them anyways?)

Waiting for her to finish her concert at Jonah's
This morning, however, I knew exactly why she went on a crying fit. You see, it's exam week (it's the last grading period and we're hoping for an early school break this year) and even if it's not exam week our rules are pretty simple and clear. No computer, no TV, no games on the phone when it's a school week. It's been almost 8 months since she started preschool. By now, I'm sure she understands why we have these rules. To her credit she's admittedly been a pretty good and obedient kid on most days. We rarely wrestle with this rule, in fact. But today was not one of those days. She wanted me to let her watch just one miniature cooking video on You Tube. Yes on school days, I am heartless like that. And I really stand firm on consistency to rule implementation. It is what's best for both of us.

So she goes on a crying fit for like 5 minutes (or maybe shorter but you know when you're dealing with a tantrum it always just seems to take like forever). How do I handle it? I LET HER BE. And it's always been that way. I JUST LET HER BE.

You want to shout? Fine. Shout your heart out. Even if a neighbor rushes to check on us, just keep shouting. I won't dare get in the way.

You want to lie on the floor and wail? Fine. The floor needs some mopping anyways.

The crying and the shouting, I can take. I can wait even if it takes forever. What I detest thought are the times she would attempt to hit. Mostly out of frustration, I know. The most I can do is leave her with a pillow and lock myself in a room. Then she'd wail some more.

The good thing about every tantrum though is THEY HAVE AN ENDING. At some point, she will get tired. And stop. When that happens, that's my queue to console. Then explain why she can't get what she wants and when's the right time to ask for it. Most often, we would always come to an understanding. I also won't have to squeeze out an apology from her because she would most often than not offer it without me demanding for it.

And... I always emerge the victorious one in this drama. So yes, I am a tantrum tamer. And am rather proud of it.

Just before she threw a fit, she finished this.
Just got out of bed and went straight to get her art supplies and started painting.
Turns out she was painting something for me and her dad to bring to work.
I have the sweetest kid ever (even if she's the TANTRUM QUEEN)! 


Em Tiquio said...

Aaawww.. Isn't she the sweetest?!
Minsan talaga kelangan ntin silang tiisin. Pero aminin, isang I love you lang from them, ayos na :)

Joan Estacio said...

I am blog-hopping here! I flipped the page and I got you.. just so lucky I did!

balanced-parenting is really hard specially with tots. But it would be easy if you set goals on how you deal with it.

I got four, just imagine how much tantrums I get everyday!...



Filipina Explorer said...

Sheesh, tantrums are a dreaded thought when I think of my daughter transforming into a toddler. Only 10 months and she's already showing some real character. Nai-imagine ko na lang maglulupasay siya nang walang sawa sa grocery 'pag terrible 2s niya, haha. I've had these encounters taking care of my niece when she was little, and they're not a pretty sight. So kudos to you!

Faye Paras said...

Hello! Thank you for hopping over to my side of the blogging world :) Don't worry much about tantrums yet. I'm sure you'll do fine pag dumating na ang araw na kailangan mo na siyang harapin :) Happy to tell you though, never pa naman nangyari sa grocery, toy store or mall sya nagwala. Crossing my fingers that we'll graduate from this tantrum phase without having to go through that scene.

Faye Paras said...

you are one supermomma joan! thanks for the dropping by :)

Faye Paras said...

tama ka dyan Em! kahit nga pa-cute cute lang eh. solb na. :)

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