Monday, November 26, 2012

When I Kiss You Goodbye

I don't know why, everytime I kiss you goodbye my heart always feels like it's being torn to pieces. 

It's at its worst in the wee hours of the morning when Daddy and I leave for our long distance runs. Like this morning for instance, I wanted to just kiss you lightly but then you stirred and opened your eyes bright. My heart just sank even if you just went to kiss me back (3x - one per cheek and then a big smack on the lips) and bid me bye-bye. You hardly cry when we bid you byebye but I don't know if it's the paranoid in me that's giving me strange thoughts like it could be the last and I just have to drink in that moment. I always end up hugging you very, very tightly. And wishing I could wrap you up and bring you with me. Sometimes I'd wish you're already big enough so we can bring you with us to run. 

When I look at you these days, I can see how much you've grown. Physically, you're taller (a few more months and you'll be as tall as my shoulders). I can hardly carry you now but I'm thankful you'd still reach up for me to carry you on some days. 

Sigh. I wish though I'd stop feeling sad when I bid you byebye because coming home is always something to look forward to as well (and don't get me wrong, I do look forward to that EVERY.SINGLE.DAY). But I really just can't help it. I'm not yet out of the door but I always, always miss you terribly already. 

I love you very much, Maia. I hope you will always feel secured by that thought. 

4 comments:

Pepper said...

r
Awww... Maia you are so lucky to have hard working and super loving parents! You're Mama loves you so... =)

Faye Paras said...

I read your comment to her Pepper! And she gave me an approving nod. I think she agrees with you. Hehe

Maggie said...

Oh this made me tear up, Faye. That's how I feel too whenever I leave Lucas. Only difference is he hugs my legs tight :(

Faye Paras said...

Super hugs to us Maggie! There are really tough days. I onced even toyed with the idea of staying home because of those days. But well, we have to choose what's best for everyone. ^_^

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