Curious and Curiouser

Today is one of those days we wish we had more of.

We had a good night's sleep (read: 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, hallelujah!). Maia and I cooked breakfast together and we ate it out in the garden (it's been sooooo long since we did that). I organized our art stuff and spent about an hour watching Maia's baby and toddler videos.

I guess all that reminiscing struck a chord on our little miss because she started asking a lot of questions. Questions which led to more questions and then later to her saying -- "Maybe in a billion years Mommy, someone will have answers to all my questions, no?" -- all that said in a rather broken voice and which eventually brought out tears and some meaningful insights from her.

You see she started her rally of questions with - "I wonder, Mommy, who decided that water should be called water. Or named the sun, "Sun"? and who thought of the dinosaurs? and asked if they ever existed?'

Who named this place Tagaytay?

It was a loooooot of questions thrown at me in about a minute. I had to catch my breath before I answer. Well...I needed to sit down actually. And stand up again to take out some books to back my answers out. And in case I ran out of things to say, I can just hand the books over to her to read.

So I attempted to answer. I think I did pretty well considering the situation. Then she started asking about careers and professions. What these and that do. How important are they in this world. Some questions were just technical for me and I just wasn't equipped yet. Should expose her to more "community" helpers, I guess.

But I'm thankful for that publishing house with the "S" logo for helping me out on situations that would've have been difficult for me to get out of.

For now, we leave our little miss with some homework to do during this one week break from school.

My takeaway from this day is that being intentional has no boundaries. and I guess, the husband and I realizing early on how much our words and actions is impacting our kid kind of paid of right now. Hearing my daughter's thoughts about what path she'd like to take when she grows up and asking herself what taking that career would do to save the world is a little fascinating at this point. I forced myself to remember how I was back to when I was 9 and I don't think I was this conscious about my choices yet.

But we continue to pray - for wisdom and for mindfulness to always be present to me and my husband -- so that no matter what our little girl chooses later on, she would always take with her all the values we're teaching now.

Dearest Maia,

I told you today - if you ever choose to be a writer, or pursue being a fashion designer, or maybe take an entirely different path later on -- just remember that as long as you as joyful with your choice everything else will follow. The struggles won't be as hard to take on if you LOVE what you're doing. Choose that. 

I've taken a looong break from filling up this place but our conversation today inspired me to write again. I want to put my memory of how this day went here because as you know, Mommy is very forgetful already. 

You were very concerned that if you "just" become a writer or a fashion designer it might not help the world at all. That they are NOT as important as the work of a scientist. or a doctor. or that person that dug up and discovered the dinosaurs. 

But you what, the lives of this people, or their discoveries might not reach others. They will need writers to tell their stories and share their discoveries. Fashion designers can be vital to saving the environment too. You can come up with clothes that upcycle so not a lot of stuff end up in dumpsites. 
Opportunities are limitless. Keep your heart pure and your intentions good. Stay compassionate.

Love you to the universe and back,
Mommy and Daddy

Celebrating Valentine's Day

Dearest Maia,

Unlike most families in our circle, we are NOT big on celebrating valentine's day. In fact, your dad refuses to acknowledge that this day exist. He absolutely abhors the horrendous traffic that goes with it. And how commercialized it has become.

In our household, this year was the same as any other valentine's day in the past. It was as normal as any given day. Except that you made us a card. That as again melted our hearts. Thank you for reminding us how love should be celebrated. Not just on valentine's day. But EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

You are growing up like the fine lady that we expect you to be, Maia. One of these days, the inevitable will come. Someone will ask you out for a date. My fervent prayer is that...may you always remember how your special dates with your dad was like. May they serve as your guide.

You daddy treated you like a real princess, little girl. (I was the queen so you have to settle with that title for now). May you find someone someday who would treat you the same way, or even better, as we continue to pray always.

Love,

Daddy and Mommy

Cafe Voila. Post-valentine's date c. 2017

School Immersion First Grade Edition

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Kumusta kaya ang araw mo, Maia? Bigla ka namin naalala ng sabay ng Daddy mo. Naisip namin sana matawagan ka man lang namin para kamustahin. Pero naisip din namin dadating din yun. Sa ngayon ayaw namin magmadaling bigyan ka ng telepono hehe . Ang aga mong nagising kanina. Sobrang eksayted ka sa araw na to. "Di na ako inaantok! Bangon na ako baka maiwanan ako". Enjoy ka anak! Ikaw na lang kumaway pag nadaanan mo office ko :) #fieldtrip #schoolgirl #letterstomaia

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Today, my little girl went to her first immersion (a.k.a. field trip) as a grade schooler. A month ago when this was announced, she immediately marked the date on our calendar. She was so excited we were reminded almost every day to make sure we bring her to school on time because she did not want to miss the bus!

So we were up early today. At 4am to be exact. And unlike the usual school days where it takes us at least 3x to hit the snooze button before someone finally jumps out of bed, she was first to rise and wake every one up!

We were in school 10 minutes before the call time of 6am. Ah despite of the 2 hour delay, she spelled the day in 3 letters - F.U.N.

Her dad picked her up from school and on their way home, she had tons of questions and stories for him:
>Bakit andaming mesa sa bahay ni Jose Rizal, Daddy? (Why are there lots of tables in Jose Rizal's house, Daddy?)
>Ano ang ibig sabihin ng 24/7, Daddy? (What does 24/7 mean, Daddy?) Apparently noticing this signage from one of the popular burger joints she saw on the road.
>Daddy! Dinrowing ko na lang yung mga napuntahan namin kanina. Yung mga hindi ko na makita, inimagine ko na lang! (Daddy, I drew the places we've been to earlier. I just imagined those that were out of my sight already)

Our little artist. Our little storyteller. Our curious cat. Our princess.

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Time flies. Sooooo fast.

No More Goodbye Kisses!

i wanted to kiss you goodbye today before i left for work today. but i was already out of the door so i asked you to open up and come out to give me my kiss.

did you?

sadly no. you just stood behind the screen door and gestured bye bye to me.

"ganito na lang mommy!" **you kissed your palms and blew me kisses**

sigh. you are now busy doing your own thing. you are now starting to build your own world.

and no room for mommies anymore.

Milestone: First Time To Vacation On Her Own

Our dearest Maia,

I hope you take time to read this letter every day while you are vacationing there. We miss you already but we hope you are having a great time out there.

LISTEN, OBEY, RESPECT. Please remember always, okay?

Eat your veggies. Drink lots of water.

Say please and thank you, all of the time.

Don’t talk to strangers. Stay with lola and your cousins all of the time. Please do not leave the house unless you are with Lola.

Put baby salve on your allergies.  

Play outdoors! Don’t spend too much time on TV, phone and computer.

Answer mommy’s calls. Keep your phone near you every time.

Say your nighttime prayers.

See you on Saturday!!! I hope you grow taller and bigger by then!

Love you very, very much!

Daddy and Mommy

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Our little miss is spending a week with her Lola and cousins. Our Ate Inday is away on vacation for a week and the best option we have right now is to have the kid spend the week away from us. Luckily, she got really excited when we told her about it. 

I wasn't though. 

And most parents could probably relate. But at some point, I know we'll be experiencing this every summer. It's just starting a little bit sooner that we'd expected. 

My nephew recently spent almost a month with us and his Nanay (my sister)sent him a couple of letters while he was here.I really thought they were sweet and very thoughtful gestures so I wrote Maia one too (albeit an advanced letter hahaha, talk about atat) and printed it out tonight. I secretly inserted it in one of the notebooks I packed for her to doodle in. I asked her if she can write a note for me on that notebook every day to let me know what she did every day. 

She hasn't left yet and I miss her already. Sigh.

Getting Ready For School On Her Own (and some mommy musings)

I was feeling under the weather (nah, make that terrible) this morning so I decided to just stay home and rest. The kid was ecstatic to have me linger in bed way past my usual 7am wake up call. We grabbed a quick breakfast with the hubs and went back to bed. I dozed off a little bit more while she grabbed a couple of pens and paper and doodled in bed while watching me sleep.

At around 9am, Ate Inday called out to her to get ready. I was shaken to full-awake mode when I saw her climbed the bed and grabbed a set of her school uniform from the cabinet beside our bed. I stealthily got up to check on where she's taking the uniform and grinned when I saw her place it gently on our sofa and started dressing up.

My 5 year old can now prepare for school on her own! I am one beaming (albeit silently as I do not want to startle her since she tends to be very self-conscious when caught doing something seemingly amazing) momma once again! I tried to recall how I was as a 5 year old and I don't even think I can match her skill set now. Although, growing up with both of my parents working, I learned to become independent at an early age as well. Looking back, I do not regret growing up in that environment. At an early age, I learned the value of hard work. And I think it was one of the values that are very, very important to teach to my kid. Learning the value of hard work also teaches you to be resilient. It teaches you honesty. It teaches you respect. It teaches you honor. 

Okay. I should stop now (I fear I might sound preach-y soon). Ending this post instead with this:

Dear Maia,

Watching you prepare your things for school today and dress up on your own was kind of surreal. I didn't think I will witness you do such things this early. But I'm really happy. (and a bit sad...but really more, more happy). You are growing up to be the little girl that I've always hoped you to be. You always tell me you understand if Mommy cannot take care of you the way she used to and now I see why. You are now learning to do things on your own!!! Amazing you! I love you to bits, my little miss!

Keep it up, Maia! Continue your pursuit to discover what other things you can start to do on your own beginning today. Me and daddy will always remain by your side to serve as your guide. May you always take inspiration on hardwork that is immensely valued in our family. May it teach you the virtues that it taught me growing up. Remember that there may be no shortcuts to success but hard work will always lead you to it. As long as you remain passionate.

We love you very much! We are lucky to be called your parents!

Daddy and Mommy

Hardwork Pays Off - Musings On Grades and Study Habits

Our little kid went home a couple of weeks ago with her first quarter report card and I can't be any prouder especially with her grades for Reading.

Were you grade conscious as a student? I've been trying to remember and my memory tells me I probably was. I really wanted to graduate top of the class because I wanted to make my parents proud.

I would later realize I should have done it for myself first. Well I never graduated the way I dreamed to but I would like to think I still made my parents proud somehow. I was never a diligent student but I learned fast. And I loved English and Math and Physics (no not Science and yes, in that order).

I hope for my little kid to be an enthusiastic learner too. To always embrace that thirst to learn something new. But I would want to be as cool as my parents were. So I try not to be imposing.

I do see that she's starting to develop a study habit. And I'm happy for that. That wasn't my influence though but more of her school's because she's asked to complete several sets of homework everyday. So far, so good -- she's been very diligent about finishing most of her homework before dinner time. Once or twice a week I make it a point to give her some slack and let her finish in the morning. I really am scared she will get burnt out so early in my student life. So I want her to still make time to enjoy her childhood while she can.

Anyways, again for posterity's sake I am posting a photo of her first quarter grade in reading.

Again, thank you for always listening and obeying us Maia! We love you and I keep that in mind. ALL THE TIME.

p.s. Posting here a photo of the card we made for you. You were sad you didn't get a merit card but you know little girl, it didn't really matter to us. What this card says is real. And that's exactly what felt when we saw your grades. Just keep that up. And just keep asking questions. As long as we are assured you are learning, that's what is important to us.

Hey There, December!

Just checking in for now to say "Hello! We're still here!"

The little girl worked on getting our humble tree up the minute we plucked the fake spider webs out of the flower bed in our lawn.

I wanted to have brighter lights this year. I don't know why. But the sight of Christmas lights is like a happy pill for me these days. I wanna fill our home with lights. But it's the 3rd day of December already and I don't think that wish is going to happen this year.

We are spending Christmas with my family in Antique for the first with the little girl this year. I guess that should be more than enough replacement for my bright wish this year. Just 17 more days to go and I say hello to rest again.

Our household can hardly wait.

Here's to hoping the rest of December is going to be kind to all of us. Tight hugs.

It is going to get better.

Princess-themed Class Party At Five

Dearest Maia,

You have been counting down the days since the beginning of October. It always amazes us how you remember the days and the dates. You wake up cheerful in the morning and announce how many days are left till your 5th birthday. One of my favorites was the morning of the 15th when you announced, "three days na lang birthday ko na!!! yes!!!"

You planned your 5th birthday immediately after you celebrated your 4th. You planned your 6th, 7th, 8th till the 10th. Oh, it was really fascinating to hear you make plans. This 5th birthday, I couldn't remember now if it turned out to be the way you planned it. I now have a fuzzy memory of that day but seeing you smile from ear to ear made me feel like it was exactly how you planned it to be.

Ate Inday and I did this handmade MAIA letters 2 days prior to the party.
It was one of the few brilliant ideas that my cramming mind managed to come up with.
Would have been nice if we made a tiara, no? I bought the banner at National Bookstore for P60.

We had fun interacting with your school friends today little girl. We can see how much all of you have grown up in a year. You now had voracious appetites and can now eat independently. Your dad found it amusing too that you all know how to throw your trash properly. That was really nice to see. 

It was an awesome party, little girl. All credit goes to you. You planned it well. And you were the most beautiful Princess party host I've ever met ;)

Your classmates sang happy birthday and greeted you with a loud, "we love you, Maia" and we caught you getting teary-eyed.
You mumbled a gentle THANK YOU and quickly joined your classmates to eat. I guess you didn't want to be caught crying but remember it's okay to show your emotions too sometimes my little girl.

This year is your last year in preschool. I'm bemused every time that realization hits me. I guess, it will always be bittersweet for me and daddy. But we're glad you seem to be growing up just the way we'd hoped it. Stay compassionate. Prayerful. Adventurous. Passionate. I pray you'd learn to speak your mind as well. But you're perfect just the way you are my little girl. Always remember we love you very, very much!

Timed Out

August 6th, around dinnertime

I really wish I remembered now or even just wrote a few words in this draft post to give me a clue of why I had this photo of you sitting in that corner serving your much deserved time out. But I do vividly remember though that when I told you I had to do it, you just nodded your head and proceeded to grab your chair. You gently positioned it in that corner and went on to sit till the time you need to serve was up. Your puppy eyes were pleading for me to forgive and yet you kept quite in that corner. You waited till I signaled it was okay to leave that corner.

"You sit there for 5 minutes." I had to say that firmly making sure I didn't choke or show any sign of amusement.

On times like these, you never argue with me now. You perfectly understand the rules in our house. You know that when you did something wrong, you need to be "punished". You hardly even cry anymore. Like in this photo. You didn't cry anymore. But I know you were really sorry. 

I often here you say you are now my big baby. Our big baby. I'm happy you still like to be called our baby. I hope you will never feel embarrassed if in case you're all grown up and we still call you Baby. Don't worry sweetie, it's not going to be that often but I hope when the moment hits us you would allow us to baby you that way we do right now. Because really, you will forever remain our baby. (forgive Mommy, I'm just extra sentimental today)

p.s. You might eventually be curious if time outs ever worked for you and might be surprised to know that they did work. Time outs gave us both the time to regroup and rethink our actions. On your part maybe it wasn't that way yet but almost always when we talk after your time outs, you seem to realize what your mistakes were and would acknowledge them by readily offering your heartfelt apologies. That is enough for me and your dad. I hope you will never outgrow that gift of genuine humility and courage to accept your mistakes because when you are older they would probably become one of the most difficult virtues to nurture and live by.

Throwback Thursday: Preschool Hunting

Dearest Maia,

I'm sad these past few days. I just found out I lost most of the photos of our recent Tagaytay get away. I hardly get attached to material things but to memories, oh I have extreme attachments. Pictures are my way of preserving memories. So when I lose those things, my heart breaks. I wanted to preserve these things for you to browse through when you're older.

But I am better now. I found a collage I made of you and Daddy from that day. At least, I have that.

And while I was frantically browsing through old photo files, I came across this. So apt to the day because in the Instagram world, Thursdays are known for throwbacks. And these are photos from last year when we were still preschool hunting. You took a preschool screening test here and you aced it. Especially the test for emotional readiness.

I don't think you were really mad here. You're just goofing around, I guess.
You're so cute!

Chubby cheeks!

famished after spending about an hour at the testing room

Looking at these photos made realize how so much can change in just a span of a year. You still look like a baby here. Now, you're all grown up. Just like a real kid. Some days, you even feel like an adult ever-ready to give mom and dad a piece of advice. You're very outspoken. And opinionated. Oh so much like mommy actually.

BUT. I hope you take your sweet time growing up, my little miss preschooler. Enjoy your childhood. Because I want you to have great memories of it when you are at my age already.

Love,

Mommy

Making Faces And Being In Touch With One's Emotions

When did you start introducing the idea of emotions to your kid?

When Maia was younger, one of my dreams was to raise her as a child who is very in touch with her emotions. I wanted her to be very expressive of her feelings. I wanted her to also know that it is okay to tell me how she feels anytime. But my dilemma then was, how do I first introduce her to the different types of emotions? 

PHOTO SOURCE

I thought of buying those shirts that were quite popular (mga katropa, you remember? hahaha) before which made use of smileys (i don't think emoticons or emojis were already invented then) to illustrate the different kinds of emotions. 

BUT. I never got around to finding that shirt. Or teaching her about emotions in one sitting. What I ended up doing was telling her (as they happen) what I am currently feeling every time she 'does' something. So she's pretty much aware of what happy, sad, angry, tired, proud looked like. 

Yesterday, I was reminded of this project because one of the little miss's activity book had an exercise on drawing facial expressions. And I was a little amazed by how she illustrated the emotions required on each empty face. Sleepy cracked us up since the ZZZZZZ's were unexpected. But kids do have very photographic memories and she probably remembers that most of her books usually illustrate sleep with an accompanying 'Zzzzzzzz'. 

dearest maia,

i really wish you will be as expressive of your emotions as your drawings are to me and to daddy. right now, your are most expressive when you are angry. you really growl when you are. also when you are happy. we love it the most when you are happy because we get tons of hugs and kisses. 

stay in touch with your emotions little girl. soon you will learn about frustrated, disappointed, guilty, embarrassed and every thing else in between. i hope you will continue to open up to us about all your new discoveries and learnings. it is always a fun and enlightening experience for us and we would want to be part of it as long as you would allow us to.

love you always,

mommy (and daddy too!)

First Day High SY2013-2014

So the first day of Kindergarten year went by like a blur. Unlike last year's, this was a fuss-free first day for us. But the husband and I made sure we took leaves from our respective busy jobs to bring the kid to school today. Most of the kids in her school service opted not to take the service since their parents also personally took them to school. So at least the kid didn't feel left out or something.

Actually, she never let go of our hands the minute we entered the building. It was like she wanted to walk proud with her parents in tow. We surveyed the play area to check if she had friends there but couldn't find anyone. Then we went in the party area which was converted to a waiting area for the parents and guardians to stay in. That's where we found most of her old friends from last school year.

I was looking at her this time. She wasn't as timid as last time. But she didn't reach out immediately to friends too. She just stuck with Daddy and her bag. Haha. So we didn't pressure her. Daddy was also very happy to have her sticking like glue to him that day. She freely gave kisses away. No reservations.

And so when they were all called out to get inside their respective classrooms, we lined up to hers. When it was her turn to get inside, her new teacher (a familiar face) welcomed her warmly and told her she still fondly remembers her name. She beamed. "I remembered you Maia, do you remember me?" Her new teacher asked. With bowed heads and a low voice, she said -- "Teacher J" -- gladly accepted her name tag and took a seat on one of the tables where her friends are seated.

When the teacher politely asked us to leave, she urgently kissed us goodbye and happily waved us out of the classroom. Someone was obviously so eager to start her first day in school. I took one last look at her and didn't see a look of hesitation on her. My fears disappeared in thin air. She has grown to be one confident preschooler now.

Dearest Maia,

You are starting to make me feel it's time for me to let go. That thought kinda pinches my heart a bit. Just a teeny-tiny bit. You know how protective Mommy is of you (and I do not want to mention Daddy here because he is definitely a 100x more protective than me). But one thing is certain, this is bound to happen. And I'm happy that you are finally embracing traditional school like a real pro. 

Keep it up baby girl! I'm sure it's going to be a rocking school year for you. I look forward to all your stories about your daily school adventures. 

Love you always and forever,

Mommy (and Daddy too!)

A Letter From Nagaoka From Mommy To Maia

Dearest Maia,

This is my second to the last day here in Nagaoka.

There's a tiny tinge of sadness in my heart. I guess, it's because I like this place so much and there's a big possibility I might not be able to come back here anymore. Well at least not for business. The guys we worked with they are really good at what they do so I think they can do things on their own now.Also, if ever I do come back I am really hoping I can bring you and daddy with me already.

The food is great here (they say it's because of how clean the water is and how stable the temperature is. The place is very close to the mountains and the sea. So yes, it's nature doing it's magic once again) I am starting to think, the location has something to do with how good-natured the people here are. Almost everyone I'd meet in the streets or stores has a smile and a greeting for me. I love how quite this place is. A totally different world from what you see in Tokyo where the pedestrian crossings are always bustling with people. In here, you hardly see people crossing the streets (I wonder where they are??? Hmmmm).

Yesterday, I went out for a run. That felt really good. The weather was just right (maybe about 19-20 ish degrees) so when I started sweating it didn't feel like I'm on fire. Today I planned to do another one to explore the other side of Nagaoka but I slept like a baby I woke up late. I had to prepare for a presentation so I decided not to go out anymore. Maybe tomorrow. So I can also say goodbye to the place.

We also run into a couple of preschoolers at the train station yesterday. They were super cute. Reminded me of your classmates in St. Michael. They were on their own but they seem to behave well. They were walking in a line (I don't know if they're trained to fall in line even while walking). I never saw any little kid throwing a tantrum here. They all seem to be very mild mannered. And obedient.

But I missed so much especially when I saw those kids yesterday. I wish you were here with me. I wish I can hold your hand as I make my way to train. I wish I can introduce you to the train conductor who really amuses me. Much like the train conductors you see on your favorite cartoons.

Well, mommy has to prepare stuff for work now. I'll see you in two days.

I love you so much,
Mommy

p.s. Here are couple of shots of high school kids at the train station. The schedule that we take in the mornings is always filled with school kids. They're always an fascinating sight for me.

This is a shot from outside of the Ojiya Station.

This Thing Called Motherhood.

Last night, I plugged in an old external harddrive containing photos from several years ago. I was looking for a decent photo of my mom, to use for my mother's greeting to her. But I ended up browsing from folder to folder of Maia's infant photos. 

I always say how fast time flies when I look at my daughter. But truthfully, with me being so uptight with documenting her every move, I can hardly measure how far she's grown physically just by looking. Sometimes, how fast time flies just end up as a declaration of time that passed and not so much of me having a point of comparison on the physical aspect anymore. I hope you get what I mean.

Not till I saw these photos again. And I'm glad I made friends with my ever reliable point and shoot when this little girl was just a tiny little thing. I remember how tough our first 2 years were. I remembered the countless meltdowns, sometimes to the point of me actually questioning my ability to parent a child. 

But all those doubts were somehow put to rest now. I look at my little dalagita and my heart just swells. With pride. With love. With hope. With assurance. That after every emotional rollercoaster that we've been through, I somehow existed for this particular purpose. To be this kid's mother. To help raise this tiny little thing to become something - somebody with a purpose as well - someday.

Thank you for always pushing me to strive to be the best, Maia. I am a better person now because of you. You and daddy helped shape me to be BETTER. This thing called motherhood is the best thing that ever happened to me. 

Posting my favorite photos here from some almost 5 years ago:

Daddy's Girl Forever

The week that I was away, I was worried how Tibs and the little miss will survive without me. They can only get along well for a good 10 minutes. After that, expect never ending bickerings and crying and shouting. Yes, one of the major roles I play in this family is being the referee.

So imagine how happy I was to hear that one night the bedtime conversation went like this:

Tibs: "Uuwi na sila Ate Ghab sa Angeles nyan. Wala ka na kalaro ulit dito sa bahay. Gusto mo sumama na lang muna sa kanila. Bakasyon ka muna doon?"

Little Miss Maia: "Ayaw ko Daddy. Hindi kita pwede iwanan dito, wala kang kasama eh".

Tears fell while I was listening to the husband retell this conversation over the phone. I'm sure he shed a tear or two too when he heard it. 

Dearest Maia,

You might not always get along with Daddy but you see, you will forever remain his princess and him your daddy king. 

Daddy never carried you during the first 3 months of your infancy not because he doesn't like it but because he was so scared he will hurt you. And even when you grew plumper after 3 months, he had to plop you up on a pillow till you were strong enough to lift your head because he was so afraid he will crush you. I think in his mind you will remain his fragile little baby. So everytime daddy raises his voice when speaking to you, remember that it's because you were probably putting yourself in harm's way and it upsets him so much.

Most days I am at the sidelines watching you two and I can very see how you adore each other. And one of these days, I will find time to collate all those pictures that I took of you and you will see what I am talking about.

Everyday I thank God he helped us raise you to be such a sweet, independent and very responsible kid. I hope you will always remember the basic things we thought you. LISTEN, OBEY and RESPECT. 

we love you to bits,

Mom and Dad

Pabaon For Mommy's Trip To Japan (and a letter from a homesick momma)

I miss you so much Maia. Malas ko I am currently using a borrowed laptop, I was not able to check if a webcam was installed or if it has speakers. Daddy tried to call via skype and we couldn't hear each other. Sigh. I miss the shrill of your youthful voice. I miss your whining. I miss your kiddie smell a.k.a. amoy araw/amoy aso smell. I miss your kili-kili. I miss tickling you and making you giggle like there's no tomorrow.

For now, before I go to sleep let me just recall what you said when you handed this note to me the night before I left for this trip:

"This is for you, Mommy. It says: when Mommy go to Japan(ese), I will take care of my daddy. I will listen and obey. I will make my mommy and daddy happy. BUT. I will miss my Mommy!"

Haaaaaaaaaaaaay. I'm crying homesick tears bebe girl. It's a different thing when I'm preoccupied with work (I totally forgot about my afternoon coffee break today and I barely took toilet breaks), but when I'm back in my hotel room like this with no one to talk to I miss you so bad. And I realize, this past few years there's always you  I can to talk to when I get home from a very tiring day at work. I miss your tight hugs. I wish I packaged it and brought lots of it here with me. (or maybe just brought Georgie or Babbie with me? I wasn't prepared, obviously).

This morning, when they discussed the possibility of us extending, I felt my knees go weak. (and I just prayed silently "Dear God, please not a week more." I hope he somehow heard me). A week just feels like ages. I couldn't bear extending for another week more.

I hope you and daddy are taking good care of each other. I love you, both. From Japan(ese) and back!

Thoughts Of A Tired Working Momma

My heart aches a bit. Not being able to personally take you to summer class makes me feel like a worthless mom. This is one of the few things that you always look forward to during the year. And I'm not there to take you.

Every night I ask you if you feel Mommy's love. You always tell me YES. I hope despite my shortcomings, you will always feel that way.

I am happy that you always feel secured by our love. Yes, you are very vocal about wanting to have a car to take you to Jollibee anytime you feel like chomping on a Chicken Joy. But other than that, you are a relatively easy kid to please.

My bread baker's masterpiece. "Masarap yan Mommy!"

Yesterday, you were so proud to bring home a piece of the bread bun that you helped to bake. You told Ate Inday to just pinch the edge to taste it since you wanted to leave most of it for mom and dad. My heart swells. Daddy's heart swelled even larger than mine, I'm sure.

Last night, you told me you are going to make cupcakes today. I can't wait to see what you brought home for us. You are the sweetest, Maia. Sometimes, I feel so unworthy of that. But in times like these when I leave the office dog-tired, the thought of you alone is enough to wipe my exhaustion away.

I am soooo lucky to have you.

52 Months

While we were at the playground earlier today, I was watching you and your daddy intently and I was swept by nostalgia once again. I couldn't stop myself from digging up your infant photos. I caught myself doing a sigh at  every click. 

You did this several times today. And your dad had that same look on his face all through out.
I realized. I'm tougher than him when it came to this. I probably watched you get hurt many times over I've been numbed already. And yes, I believe too that shielding you from hurt will never help you at all. You came down safely on your own by the way. 

Some days, your wits make me forget you are only 52 months old. But most days, it's really your physical features that tend to confuse me. You don't look anywhere near the sweet-smelling, plump baby girl that I used to lull to sleep in my arms.

3 summers ago. wow. 

Your interests has shifted differently now. You now like everything girly. Polished nails. Hairbrushes. Make up. Barbie (I cringe at the thought though). And to think, I use to worry you might grow up a tomboy like me. But you are starting to be my exact same opposite. Haha. No complains though (except on that part with Barbie in it).

Earlier today. "Why are we called prncesses again, Mommy?"

3 years ago. She could barely say the word PRINCESS yet.

These past few days before I leave for work, you always insist that I sit on your dresser so you can personally put my make up on. (I rarely go to work with make up but these days, you definitely force me to do better). You would demand to be given the freedom to choose what clothes to wear now and what shoes you'd like to pair it with and what hairdo would go best with that. And we rarely do meddle on those. Because we value your demand for independence and making your own choices.

pretty ukay dress from her lola. See, it's not just me who loves to dress her up.

today we were hitting the playground but she insisted on wearing these shoes. oh well.

from a recent birthday party that she attended. fear of mascots conquered!

BUT for now don't grow up too fast, please? I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Linger for awhile. I still would like to find a way to bottle up what's remaining of that baby breath of yours, most especially. I'd still want to be able to carry you on some days when I'd be all nostalgic about your infant days. 

Food for thought #1 - On Contentment

Hey Maia!

I thought I'd start sharing here too words of wisdom that I would read from a book or from the internet so that when you grow up so can just simply search for them in here if you needed a boost or some sort of 'enlightenment'.

Today, I'm sharing this excerpt from one of my favorite books: The Gift Of An Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison.

photo source

"The secret of contentment, as I've come at last to know, is not in getting what I want. It's not about being in the perfect place or having just the right sort of life. Contentment and grace may just be two sides of the same coin. And they are both mine whenever I remember to stop, look around, and appreciate where I already am and what I already have."

love,

Mommy (and Daddy too)