I am the eldest among a brood of 5. My mom is the eldest among a brood of 7. She was the first to have children. That makes me the eldest among cousins now counting to 29. I witnessed almost all 28 grow up. I guess that led me somehow becoming so maternal at an early age.
Despite having seen my siblings and cousins go through accidents in their childhood - may it be major, minor or in-between, I've vowed to be even more careful when I become a Mommy.
So I babyproofed as much as I can when Maia started crawling and cruising and walking and now running. I padded sharp edges and floors so falls are cushioned. I kept all sharp objects away from her reach. Despite all these efforts though, I've still witnessed Maia fall down our bed several times. The feeling of seeing her fall and not being able to catch her in time is heartstopping. I'd swim in an ocean of guilt for days after those incidents even with Tibs comforting me and telling me none of that is my fault. Mothers are supposed to protect their children and I failed on mine. But those thoughts started disappearing a few months back when Maia started to walk with ease and balance. She'd run without tripping. Most often, she'd refuse my offer to carry her. She's starting to be independent.
With that, I've started embracing the idea of letting her be. I afterall wanted her to have the freedom to explore the world on her own as much as possible. I wanted her to discover things on her own because that was how I was when I was a kid and I really appreciated that from my parents. I wanted to be the same parent with my daughter.
Yesterday though, I got another wake up call.
Coming home from a running event, I was quite exhausted. So afer lunch we just had a short picture flash card session and then I called her into the bedroom so we can nap together. That's when she grabbed my hand and pointed to her nose. I saw her a few minutes earlier picking her nose but I fought the urge to slap her hand away because I was just too tired to do so. At that point though, she really looked irritated so I went to look what's making her nose so itchy. And voila, guess what I found stuck inside her nose:
Panicked enveloped me instantly. My voice was shaking while I called for help from Tibs and Ate Inday. I was so scared she'd suck this thing in even deeper I wanted to stop her from breathing. Good thing my panic did not rub on Tibs. He got that thing out of Maia's tiny little nose in no time. Thank God too that Maia never panicked as well. She stayed still the entire time her Dad was pulling that thing out of her nose.
Till now, we don't know where she got this thing from. I still don't know what it is. But I did discover one of her electronic toys broken with some parts missing. This could be attached to one of those missing parts. I already took all the tiny parts on that broken toy away. I wanted to throw the entire toy away but if you have a toddler you'd understand how clingy they are with things they've grown attached to. And I have yet to ask her permission to throw the toy away. So initial solution is just to take all the tiny parts away.
Sigh. Parenting is such a complicated task. I wish I can always prepare myself for the worst. But then again, learning is a step by step thing isn't it? It's always when things are difficult and complicated that we retain most of the things we're taught. So I learned a major lesson yesterday. I'm starting to dread the coming lessons though. **Double sigh**
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