The Big C and the Picky Eater

I did not expect her to be asking about the missing boobies this early.

But this morning while she was waiting for me to finish dressing up for work, she popped the question: "Mommy, san na (pointing to my left chest)?" (Mommy, where did it go?)

When we were in Antique, I was amazed at how my sister trained my nephew, Gogol, to eat his veggies and fruits. It turns out, she always tells him he'll get cancer if he doesn't eat healthy food. So Gogol does what he is told. He's a very good boy at the dining table. :))

It was a light bulb moment for me. When I heard the question I grabbed the opportunity to inject just enough scare factor on her so she can start eating right. Guess what, it worked! Right after our conversation she moved out of the room, pointed at the fruits on the table and asked for a serving. Talk of taking drastic measures. But a mom's gotta do what she has to do. Hehe.

Here's how the conversation went (sorry I had to share them in Tagalog):

Maia: Mommy, san na?

Me: Inalis ni Doc 'nak. Kasi nagkaroon si Mommy ng cancer kailangan tanggalin ni Doc para mawala na at gumaling si Mommy.

Maia: Ayaw ko ke doc, Mommy. Ayaw ko.

Me: Naku wag ka matakot ke Doc 'nak. Pinagaling nga nya si Mommy eh. Pero para ikaw wag magka-cancer dapat kumakain ka ng gulay at fruits. Si Mommy nung bata ayaw sa mga yun kaya ayan nagka-cancer.

Maia: (labas sa room) Mommy o...mangoes. Kain ako!

You should have seen the silly smile on my face. I just hope this conversation sticks to her memory long enough till her taste buds get use to them veggies and fruits.

Fourteen on the 18th

She turns 14 months today.

And yes, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of saying this - time flies sooooo fast.

There are still moments when I couldn’t believe we have a little walking doll (sometimes running) around the house. I don't think I'll ever lose that sense of disbelief.

Fourteen is a forgettable number but what makes this day significant is the fact that this also marks the anniversary of the day I learned I was ‘nurturing’ a very large tumor on my left breast. I was flooded with sadness recollecting that but I immediately shifted my gaze to the bubbly toddler beside me and all that sadness just felt like a soap bubble popping on thin air. I wish I can take her anywhere. She’s the only thing that makes me forget I have problems to face and issues to resolve.

There will never be words to express how thankful I am to God for sending me this little bundle of joy. December was always a difficult month for me. And this was also a tough year to face but having her around made it a whole lot easier for me and her dad to get through all those challenges we encountered.

I pray that she will never, ever get tired of eating her fruits and veggies. I also pray that she’d be kept away from harm as she continues to explore the great, wide world around her. She’s such a curious toddler and she really enjoys discovering new things. I also hope that we parents would be more educated on how to better preserve this wonderful gift of nature that God has sent us so this little lady could also enjoy them in her lifetime.

My dear little Maia

Good morning baby. Mommy is currently going through so much as she writes this. She's trying hard to stay optimistic and sunny despite the nerve wracking news that she and Daddy received last Wednesday. For you sweetie. Mommy will fight this.

Before Mommy had you, she was a cry baby in every sense of the word. She would cry over small stuff and would cry harder when things get tougher. But that does not mean that she's weak, that's just how Mommy expresses her emotions when she's sad, frustrated or disappointed. Once the tears ebb down, the worries go with it. Then Mommy's all better. Nevertheless, people around Mommy especially Daddy, GrandMa and GrandPa does not like it when Mommy cries. So Mommy vowed to control the tears when Mommy was already carrying you. Guess what, you did help Mommy on this mission. From the moment you were born till about a month ago, she's finally mastered the art of crying.

But it seems all that was temporary. When Wednesday's news sunk in, the tears came back. You know why? Because Mommy kept thinking of you. Of how small and young you are yet. You do not deserve to be deprived of her love and attention just yet. Mommy did not cry when she received the news but she cries when her thoughts are flooded by you.

Mommy is now praying for strenght to fight this fight so she can spend a longer time with you. When Mommy's all better, she will take an advocacy to help others just like her. And she will do it with you. Because you are her inspiration for taking on this fight.

Mommy vows to be around to witness many of your firsts. I love you very very much baby. You are Mommy's world.