Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Let The Emotions Flow

I was stuck in traffic this morning so I plugged in my headset and prepared for a light snooze. I figured it was going to be a long ride to work anyways so I might as well grab the opportunity to nap. But in the middle of my favorite song, my phone rang but was dropped as soon as I moved to answer it. MAIA. It registered. Panic enveloped me. It isn't normal for Inday to be calling me just a few minutes after I left the house. But I tried my hardest to stay calm and dialed back to check what was wrong.

Inday answered my call after two rings. And I heaved a sigh of relief hearing her calm and poised. Then she handed over the phone to a crying little miss. "Mommy!!!! $@!&*$ ---" (sob sob). No she wasn't cursing I just didn't understand a single word she said while crying at the same time. I took a deep breathe. Then I asked her again what was wrong.

"You didn't bring my letter! Nakalimutan mo!"

Oh my. Yes I did forgot about it. And she took a lot of effort trying to tape it gently and all. And I forgot it. Of course, she was hurt. She probably felt I neglected her efforts.

As I was sharing a few months back, it has since become a favorite hobby of hers to write or draw letters for her dad and me. And this morning in particular, she got inspired watching me and her dad eat our breakfast together that she immediately set out to sketch something for us. When she was done with the drawing she handed it to me for approval saying: "Dalhin mo yan sa office ha. Letter ko yan para sa yo. Teka ite-tape ko lang Mommy tapos lagay mo sa bag mo." I saw how she measure and cut each of the tapes meticulously. Nag-effort talaga. I thanked her for it. Gave her a tight hug too.

But I forgot to place it inside my bag.

And she saw it when she got back from her morning playdate and after I've left for work already. (bad mommy!)

At first I told her to stop crying...I will bring it with me tomorrow instead. Then as I was about to repeat the don't cry anymore speech I remembered this article I read about avoiding monologues like that (i.e. DON'T CRY, STOP CRYING) because it's like training your kid to suppress their emotions when they're only starting to learn and identify the different types at this early age. So I bit my tongue and rephrased my speech.

"You feel sad, baby?" Opo
"O sige, just cry it out then pag naubos na iyak mo at nawala na lungkot mo you make more letters and drawings for mommy and daddy to bring to the office tomorrow ha?" (Pause) OPO!

Sigh. This parenting thing can sometimes wear you out. But I chose not to dwell on the mistake part and instead be grateful that I am able to remember some of the good stuff that I should be really practicing.

I said my byebyes and hearing the little miss's voice shift to a more cheerful tone assured me she's going to be alright. I plugged my earphones in again and took my nap. We're still stuck in traffic fer chrissakes.

this wall behind her is usually filled with her sketches and doodles.
sigh. you are growing up so fast little girl i can hardly catch up.

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