Monday, September 24, 2012

Unlearning

The ARC arrived yesterday. It was something that our household has been looking forward to since the kid started preschool. I wasn't home then so it was Ate Inday who broke the news to me. She got a 3. Three. Well to me three is good. It is enough. But to the daddy, it was a different thing. He somehow...expected excellence. I was surprised. But I thought better to discuss at home.

When I got home, the mood somehow shifted. The daddy was now cool about it and I ended up the worried one. Why, you might ask? I grew up in a household that never really demanded for the kids to turn in high grades. But still, we all ended up being rather competitive and yearning to be achievers. But I really tried hard not to nail my success on my grades and somehow when I got to college that attitude helped a lot. So yes, I aimed hard (and still aim to) to be a cool parent. So even if, admittedly good grades would make me feel better I vowed not to nail my kid's success on to that alone as well. BUT.

She got a 2 in self-confidence. And that was what bothered me. The last thing I wanted my kid to be assessed with is having low self-esteem. But yes, she is a very shy kid. And I've witness that several times over. And it broke my heart a little. That was the only thing I really wanted her to have -- enough confidence to equip her to survive the harsh realities of life. And yet, how ironic that she would end up being assessed to be weak at that. 

I have since given up reading on parenting. I have accepted the fact that no book can tell me how to perfectly raise my kid. Or how I can become a better parent. But that day drove me to seek Mr. Google's help once again. What I read appeased me somehow. So thank you for that Mr. Google. At my kid's age, that article said, the still do not have a strong understanding of personalities. It might even be true that they do not know what SHY really means. 

Our dearest little miss,

Please forgive us for feeling a teeny bit of disappointment today. We never meant to but we live in a society where success is dictated by numbers and somehow despite our earlier resolve not to fall into that trap, we still did. We will do better next time. We are all first timers at this after all. 

We want you to know that you will always remain the smartest and most confident for us. Because we know you better than anyone else. In your own time, little girl, you will shine. THAT WE GUARANTEE.

Love you always,
Mommy and Daddy

Linking up to a nice post on letting go and unlearning via bellalunatoys.com - WALDORF HOMESCHOOLING; LEARNING TO LET GO

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